image: Wendy Lichtenthal, Ph.D., a bereavement science researcher and founding director of the Center for the Advancement of Bereavement Care at Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center, discusses “parasocial grief” – that which occurs when a celebrity, political figure or other highly recognized person dies.
Credit: Sylvester Cancer
MIAMI, FLORIDA (Jan. 2, 2025) – Many people are surprised by the intensity of their response when a well-known person dies, and their feelings of sadness may last longer than they expect. In fact, that sadness and grief can be intense, and preliminary research suggests that grief after the death of a public figure looks very similar to grief over our personal relationships and can have comparable levels of intensity.
Wendy Lichtenthal, Ph.D., a bereavement science researcher, is available to discuss “parasocial grief” – that which occurs when a celebrity, political figure or other highly recognized person dies.
In her research, Lichtenthal, founding director of the Center for the Advancement of Bereavement Care at Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center, part of the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, focuses on advancing bereavement science and “meaning-centered” grief therapy for families, caregivers and others.
Here, she provides an overview of why we may grieve the loss of someone who has been in the news but not in our personal lives.
Lichtenthal: Bereavement theorists and scientists refer to the experience of grief following the death of a public figure as parasocial grief. Parasocial relationships can be thought of as one-sided, involving feeling a sense of connection to a public figure who one does not personally know. But parasocial relationships are, indeed, relationships, and it is natural to grieve when someone we care about and feel attached to dies.
Why is it natural to grieve relationships? Research within the fields of psychology and neuroscience suggests that we are “wired” to connect and attach to others. Our survival depends on it. From the time we’re born, we attach to our primary caregiver, and we protest separation. This is at the heart of grief: We do not want to be separated from people we feel attached to, and grief is a protest reaction.
A parasocial relationship does not represent the same kind of attachment that exists with a person we live with day to day, but it is a relationship. We grieve the loss of whatever was received “through” that relationship. Research suggests that public figures can embody our hopes for the future, act as reminders of the past, or symbolize important aspects of our worldview.
Political figures might offer a sense of hope, safety, or security. In the case of an entertainer, we might feel a sense of connection to their creative offerings. And maybe that public figure has been providing us with something in the here and now, or maybe they offered something in the past, sparking memories, thoughts and feelings connected to a certain time or era in our lives.
Some people may seem to be affected more intensely than others when a famous person dies. It comes back to the nature of the relationship. If someone felt especially connected to and close to that public figure, then it is natural to grieve. Research suggests that the degree of perceived closeness to the public figure is associated with the intensity of the grief that is experienced after their death.
One thing to keep in mind is that one’s experience of grief always makes sense. It may feel more intense than we expected because we weren’t as conscious of the layers of meaning that a given loss has or the special role a person or relationship played in our lives. But if I asked a grieving person more in-depth questions about who this person was to them, we would eventually find that their grief makes sense.
Also, there is no prescribed timeframe for grief – no amount of time someone “should” grieve. When we feel hurt, pain, or sadness, it’s natural to say, “How long might I endure this? What is typical or ‘normal’?” But the grieving process involves processing the reality that the person who died is no longer physically present in the world and adapting to that reality over time. Reminders of that reality can bring with them waves of pain at any time for the rest of our lives. Grief does not have a stop date.
To a person going through the process of grieving, we would say, “Rather than setting a timeline, give yourself space to reflect on the fact that this person somehow mattered to you, maybe more than you realized, and that’s OK.”
Read more about this important work on the InventUM Blog and follow @SylvesterCancer on X for the latest news on its research and care.
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